[Cool Teen Sites]
Trying to make sense of these ridiculous age of consent laws
Subject: Trying to make sense of wide variety of age of
consent
Date: Fri, 14 May 1999 11:52:41 -0700
From: "Kelley <removed>
I just wanted to throw out some of my thoughts on this topic. I live in a city where early
sexual activity was common and expected. Aside from myself, the majority of girls I've
known, usually as a result of childhood abuse, were very active at 12,13, 14, etc. Many of
them had very difficult
lives, and a duality of maturity from growing up too soon, and an innocence from an
underdeveloped emotional state. Their partners, though, were mostly 18, 19, through 25.
These were the immature and insecure guys who were not comfortable with women their own
age.
Aside from just recently, none of these cases were prosecuted in any way. These girls had been initially abused, and continued inflicting it upon themselves still. Many lie about their age, and don't care if the partner suffers any repercussions. I live in Washington State, and the current age of consent is 16, and punishment is more severe as the age difference increases.
I thought it was quite humorous the day before my 16th birthday; that
today I'm not emotionally/mentally mature enough to consent to sex, but tomorrow I will
be. And, of course, different states would have either considered me old enough already,
or still 2 years away. I think that "the age of consent" needs to be
re-evaluated. I was in college at 16, many are still doing
nothing through their 30's and 40's.
I became physically mature at 12, while some start menstruation at 9, and
others still at 16. But is there a correlation between physical and emotional/mental
maturity? Some girls try, usually with success, to seduce older guys; probably under the
impression that it makes them more mature themselves.? Many younger girls I know (14, 15)
think of these sexual challenges as a game, and the more game pieces you collect, the more
points and value you have, the more power you think you
have. Many 'men' I know (18-24) are willing participants with just about anyone,
regardless of age, looks, etc.
I have spent a lot of time (about 8yrs now) observing all my peers. I have
seen little concern from their parents, though, regarding their behavior, actions, and
whereabouts. At least these girls have found someplace to find attention. Definitely,
though, not a very good place, and a very bad way. The town's 'players' are sought after,
complete with groupies, as a sort of status symbol. I've never
understood why, but I've seen it many times. I suppose their similar to the latest
accessory that everyone has, and if you don't, you want to get it.
I find this all quite disturbing, especially with the pregnancies and STD's that this "game" has spread around. You can literally watch the spreading of these diseases. For example, a 14yr old girl I knew got Herpes from a boyfriend, she then went on to sleep with 5 guys I know; they, in turn, slept with other girls, and so on. And I myself have been quite surprised to discover just how many people can become infected with something that started with one encounter.
But, to get back to a point, age of consent is something that is legally
to be all-enclusive; despite the wide range and variety of maturity at the same age. At
16, as I said, I was in college, at
15 my sister was in bars; while I've known girls who at 17 are still highly underdeveloped
in emotional and mental states. The age of consent was considerably less before, but it
would appear that now our brains and general development has digressed. 10 was once seen
as the age of consent; now it is most often 16-18.
Are we less capable of thinking and maturing now, than our species was 2
or 3 hundred years ago? Teenagers currently are seen as "adolescents" who don't
know themselves, and still have a
considerable amount of maturing to do, including intellectual. Although, previously, there
was no category for "teenagers" or " adolescents"- they were adults.
But science now knows that teenagers are really not capable of the emotional and
intellectual levels that they were once at. Many of the
geniuses and great artists and leaders the world has seen were "teenagers," but
they somehow had every ability any adult does.
I think the society is underrating the capabilities teens have, along with
forcing roles of "stupidity" on them. Being a teen is in and of itself an excuse
for just about anything. Almost a disability. The teenage brain is capable of a lot more
than it is currently given credit for. But how can a law be made to group children with
17yr olds? Many 16yr olds aren't as mature as one should
be to have sex; while some 13 yr olds are. Every form of development varies greatly from
person to person, and should not be so erroneously generalized and widely applied. So
where does this leave things?
Well, I just feel that there is no one age of acceptable maturity that can
be applied to a large
population of people. There's just too much variation. In addition, how many years
difference makes it a crime vs. okay? In Washington 16 is
the age of consent, and under that, as far as I've been told, it is okay to engage in sex
with peers ( just no one over 18). I've been told my whole life that
"girls mature 3 years sooner than boys" Does this apply to all aspects of
maturity? I know it often applies to physically, and often to emotional maturity as well?
So, wouldn't it logically follow that girls should be having relationships with someone 3
yrs. older, so as to have ideal equality? But that, of course, doesn't work. A 14 yr. can
have sex with 17 yr old, but a 15 yr. old can't with and 18yr. old. Does this make sense
at all?
Sorry for going on so long, but I have a lot of opinions about this, and
how asinine it is to apply an age of maturity to an entire state of
"adolescents."